Article By: Buntheng LIM
At some point of our lives, we have struggled to keep your friends or best friends from leaving. Sometimes, we are so defensive about ourselves, meaning we accept the fact that some people are just a part of our lives without wanting to change ourselves. This is because we are afraid of being fake so much that we use this as an excuse not to develop ourselves. Thus, my tips here are to help you change yourself into a better person. Here are the 4 tips:
Be flexible. People are different, so being flexible is advantageous. This means you should know how to deal with different people. There are people who like you to be mature. There are people who like you to be crazy like them. There are people who like you to be smart. There are people who like you to be quiet. So, extent your interest field, be open minded, be adaptive and, lastly, be yourself. For example, I can hold conversation in epistemology, general relativity, and so on because I have a smart friend. I can be mature when it comes to my seniors. I can be crazy with my best friends. These things make me flexible.
Don’t complain. Your friends might know what you have gone through, so there’s no need to say it more than 2 times. If you have too much of something, you’ll get tired of it. So, why saying it thousands of times? Sometimes, it doesn’t mean saying things more than once. For example, I hung out with my friend, and I wanted to pee, so I asked him to wait for me as I went to the bathroom. He then asked, “Bathroom again?? Why didn’t go when I went there?! [I DID, but he just forgot! And how can I control when to pee?!]” And that was the moment I wanted to high five his face with my laptop thrice and it’s still worth it if my laptop should be broken.
Don’t blame. Especially in group works, when there is a mistake, do not blame it on other people. You don’t like to take all the blame, and neither do they. Also, blaming won’t do you any good; instead, you make someone defensive. What’s the point of making everyone defensive? Pointing a finger at someone will only define you, not them. So, blaming other won’t help you fix your problems, but creating more problems. Instead of blaming people, try to fix the mistakes together. In my experience, I was doing a group project and we didn’t meet the deadline. My teammate blamed me, which led to argument, so I promised myself not to do group project with her again.
Be supportive. Everyone loves someone whom they can count on. Therefore, be a pillar to them. This means you are willing to help in time of need. However, it doesn’t mean you help solve every little things in their lives because it will only make them be dependent on you. For example, I can little things like being there for my friend when he’s sad, and I preach about relationship problems. Guess what? We become best friends pretty quickly!
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